What God Says About Family Disowning a Member

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07-15-2012, 10:51 PM

Location: J-ville, FL 218 posts, read 426,121 times Reputation: 329

My older sister who has borderline personality disorder and pibolar disorder. She'south 27. The list of things she's done over those by 27 years would get on and on. She was very calumniating to myself and my younger sis. Would tell us if nosotros told mom and dad she would impale all of us. She was physically and emotionally abusive to us. She would never take her meds, and is still not on them. One time she held my footling 4 year sometime sister under the h2o to run into how much she would scratch her arm to be let up. She idea it was interesting. She also would scream at my little sis to cuss. After screaming my little sis did what she was told. Older sis poured dish liquid down her pharynx until she threw up. I merely realized what was going on when I heard the vomiting. Then I'd run back there to try to stop her, just for her to threaten my life if I told. She would put knives up to oir throats. Throw knives at us. These things would take place whip mom and dad were gone. She was baked acted many times. Went to therapists. Zilch helped. Fast forward my older sister was withal present at family functions. The list of her awfulness goes on into eternity. Keep in mind, after going through this together myself and my little sister are super tight! We read eachothers minds and tin can't get more a few days without talking. So here is where **** hits the fan. Little sis and I were having a deep chat one night. And information technology came out..... Niggling sis was also sexually abused by older sister from ages 5 to 9. Needless to say I savage apart. I wanted to impale my older sister. Long story brusque us 2 girls and my parents are disowning her. She accepts no responsibleness for ANY of the things she did. She blames us. Little sis and I have decided we are the but ones. Family unit hasn't spoken to her in three weeks..... And it's been peaceful. We don't miss her. Not 1 chip.

07-15-2012, 11:06 PM

deliz 578 posts, read one,026,344 times Reputation: 654

I think your perfectly justified. Sounds similar she'southward done plenty damage

07-15-2012, xi:15 PM

When I commencement saw the title, I said in my heed "There is never a expert reason to disowning your child." However, afterward reading your post my opinion changed dramatically. Your family had every right to disown her and you should throw her in an asylum where she needs to be and can't hurt anyone anymore. I am so distressing you and your sister went through such terrible things in your childhood.

07-xvi-2012, 12:25 AM

ParallelJJCat two,873 posts, read five,412,563 times Reputation: 4316

If annihilation, it sounds like this was a step your parents needed to practice much earlier to protect you and your sis. You can love your child, but I think there is a point where enough is simply plenty. Cutting toxic people out of your life is a survival tactic, nothing more than, and there should exist no judgement to information technology.

07-16-2012, 02:39 AM

Inkpoe vii,758 posts, read xiv,815,413 times Reputation: 10411

Did the older sister e'er pulled any stunts with your parents, OP? Or did she act the office of a perfect affections in forepart of them? I did wonder at first if this would exist related to a recent Disowning child thread... only no, this actually sounds serious... very sad. Sorry to hear what you and little sister gone through.

07-xvi-2012, 03:01 AM

asitshouldbe Location: Somewhere out at that place... 3,663 posts, read viii,223,828 times Reputation: 3729

Quote: Originally Posted by saywha My older sister who has borderline personality disorder and pibolar disorder. She's 27. The list of things she's done over those past 27 years would get on and on. She was very abusive to myself and my younger sis. Would tell united states if nosotros told mom and dad she would kill all of united states of america. She was physically and emotionally calumniating to us. She would never take her meds, and is withal non on them. In one case she held my little 4 twelvemonth old sister under the water to see how much she would scratch her arm to be let upward. She thought it was interesting. She also would scream at my petty sister to cuss. Afterwards screaming my picayune sis did what she was told. Older sis poured dish liquid downwards her throat until she threw up. I merely realized what was going on when I heard the airsickness. Then I'd run back there to endeavor to end her, only for her to threaten my life if I told. She would put knives upward to oir throats. Throw knives at united states of america. These things would have identify whip mom and dad were gone. She was baked acted many times. Went to therapists. Zippo helped. Fast forward my older sis was still present at family functions. The list of her awfulness goes on into eternity. Keep in mind, after going through this together myself and my picayune sister are super tight! We read eachothers minds and can't become more than a few days without talking. And so hither is where **** hits the fan. Little sis and I were having a deep chat 1 night. And it came out..... Little sis was as well sexually abused by older sister from ages 5 to 9. Needless to say I brutal apart. I wanted to kill my older sister. Long story short us 2 girls and my parents are disowning her. She accepts no responsibility for ANY of the things she did. She blames u.s.. Lilliputian sis and I take decided we are the only ones. Family hasn't spoken to her in 3 weeks..... And it's been peaceful. Nosotros don't miss her. Not one bit. Your sister is mentally ill and tin't have full responsibleness for all her actions. Your parents should have been more proactive in getting her mental health care at an before age. Put some responsibility of your sisters actions on your parents and not all of it on your sis. Your parents could not have been that blind, if all of these serious things were going on, your parents should accept been picking up on the beliefs. Your sister doing this when your parents were gone is not a practiced excuse to relieve them of responsibility. Behaviors do not change that drastic in a few hours time, there would be continual behavior in someone who repeatedly has these tendencies.

07-16-2012, 08:31 AM

malamute 47,528 posts, read 65,678,042 times Reputation: 22382

I think she was long over-due for a disowning. Also bad it took so long -- but better late than never.

07-16-2012, 09:06 AM

didee 1,424 posts, read v,086,581 times Reputation: 1953

Quote: Originally Posted by asitshouldbe Your sis is mentally ill and can't take full responsibleness for all her actions. Your parents should have been more proactive in getting her mental health intendance at an earlier age. Put some responsibleness of your sisters actions on your parents and non all of it on your sister. Your parents could non have been that blind, if all of these serious things were going on, your parents should accept been picking up on the behavior. Your sister doing this when your parents were gone is non a good alibi to relieve them of responsibility. Behaviors practice not change that desperate in a few hours fourth dimension, there would exist continual behavior in someone who repeatedly has these tendencies. The OP said she had been to therapy, prescribed meds, Baker Acted, etc. and the daughter would not cooperate or comply. Parents can simply do so much. OP, hope you and your family tin can heal and move frontward.

07-16-2012, 01:12 PM

purehuman 13,526 posts, read 17,819,191 times Reputation: 16499

didee...that'due south true...so they manifestly KNEW that she was unstable....were I i of the children suffering horribly similar these 2 were...every bit an adult I'd probably be simply as angry at my parents for leaving us alone with her (essentially turning a blind eye) every bit I was at my sister....OP, I promise you can exist happy at present...in whatever desision you determine works for you and your sister.....I'chiliad also hoping that your parents volition care enough for their own to try and become some professional person help for your sis, instead of "disowning her"...or again, as they did with you...turning a blind eye.

07-16-2012, 04:21 PM

Location: San Antonio, TX 11,495 posts, read 24,611,632 times Reputation: 27911

I agree, the parents should have done more to protect the other 2 children. For instance, if they knew she had mental bug and were trying to get her the help she needed as described above, they should not have left her with the other chldren, unsupervised, or left her caring for the younger children. If I were the OP, I think I'd be wanting to disown my parents as well. They should have been at that place to protect the younger children, and they just weren't.

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